How I might have done it differently to save bandwidth and grab a wider readership.

How you might tell I am a moron By LoOkInG aT wHaT iM tYpInG!

1. Check the byline.  Who wrote such awful offal? 

 

2. LOL is a sign of brain death. 

 

3. Use SpellCheck, you dick.

 

4. TALKING IN CAPS.   TURN YOUR FUCKING CAPS LOCK OFF. Fuck. You are a dipshit!  I will kill you.  

5. If it ain't Ariel it ain't shit.

 

6. TaLkInG lIkE tHiS iS fUcKiNg AnNoYiNg AnD iMpOsSiBlE tO rEaD. SeRiOuSlY, cUt ThAt ShIt OuT.  I'm FuCkInG sErIoUs.

7. Miscapitalization is a capital offense.

 

7. Emoticon text.  None of that rebus shit.  I'll make it my mission in life to track you down and cover every square inch of your body with thumbtacks.

EDIT:  I chop down large trees by way of telekinesis from my overlarge penis.