Piece of shit Computer.

Piece of shit Computer

*song*
H4><0r
H4><0r
H4><0r
Computer!

You! Hack!

If you're still suffering from that virus

If you still run like a piece of shit

The 1337357 h4><0r... DDoS! DDoS! DDoS!

In the era of electronic warfare, h4><or, Computer!
Piece of shit Computer! Computer!

Crash
Crash
Crash
Computer!

You! Suck!

Towards the hell of pissed off programmers, crash Computer!
Piece of shit Computer! Computer!

*narrator*

Lol, internet. It is the new home for pathetic losers who need lives.

A bunch of n00b l4m3rz at ISP three have called themselves the h4><0rs of Xeon and have started DDoSing and otherwise h4><0ring people's shit everywhere.

Warfare today is done by large boxes with chips in them, known as "Pieces of shit". The h4><0rs of Xeon have already produced a h4><0r-ready version of the piece of shit. Now the Federation has, too, produced their own piece of shit, called the "Computer".

One of their actions led to the h4><0ring of an entire ISP. People have started to ph34r their own deed.


* Denim sets mode: +m-v Slender

<Sender> (cannot send to channel)

<Gene> lol n00bs... There isn't an IRCOP or firewall to be seen.


<Fraw> Amuro! Aww, he hasn't even run Windows update yet! Amuro!

<Amuro> go away, b17ch, I'm trying to set up linux here.

<Fraw> Give it up Amuro, you're never going to be 1337! Just run Windows update so we can cyber!

<Fraw> o noes, we have to get our firewalls up!

<Amuro> what for?

<Fraw> Don't you ever read global messages?


<Fraw> Hayato111! WTF? You were in the channel, you should have told him1


<Gene> hey, let's h4><0r them!

<Denim> Gene: wait! Our orders are just to copy their w4r3z over, nothing malicious!

<Gene> Denim: wtf? if I do this we'll get our kernels upgraded!

<Denim> Gene: Don't make me DDos you!

<Gene> You wouldn't DDoS your own, now, would you? ha, that's what I thought.

*hackety hack*

<Amuro> What's this? The federation's new piece of shit? They call it... Computer... Awesome! It has five times the RAM!

<Gene> WTF! I hit some kind of script!

<Denim> What? I thought they were just unfinished scripts.

*hackety hack*

<Gene> My DDoS didn't even scratch it! I'm going to destroy you no matter how strong your firewall is!

*hackety hack*

<Denim> j00 lam3r! j00 h4><0r3d Gene!

<Amuro> If I DDos this d00d, ISP 7 will be wiped out! Now if I just - WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!! THIS PIECE OF SHIT JUST CRASHED ON ME!

*ISP 7 is destroyed*


* Now talking in #white-base

<@Bright> since j00 pwn the Computer, j00 have to h4><0r the Xeon.

<Amuro> D00d, wtf?

<@Bright> j00 will do it or I'll transfer your service back to ISP 7.

*hackety hack*

<Amuro> I've got you now, Char! - Ahh fuck! It crashed again!!111

* Now talking in #white-base

<Kai> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> lolz Sayla ur e-b00bs r hawt <%Sayla> >:O * %Sayla kicks Amuro's ass

<Amuro> This fucking piece of shit!

<Hayato> d00d, j00 should try upgrading to Windows YQ.

*pirate pirate pirate*

*burn burn burn*

*upgradez0rz*

* Now talking in #white-base

<Kai> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> lolz Sayla ur e-b00bs r hawt <%Sayla> >:O * %Sayla kicks Amuro's ass

<%Mirai> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> I pwnz da Computer! I gots da biggest e-pen0r evar!

<Amuro> Let's see if that worked.

*hackety hack*

<Char> l0lz, ur gunna fall in2 da FBI's netwark and ur gunna get caught

<Amuro> Oh shit! The FBI is going to detect me!

<Char> l0lz? hez not getting detected!

<Amuro> Hey cool! I'm not getting detected!

<Char> They made a piece of shit and an IRC channel that coul penetrate through the FBI's firewalls???/////

<Amuro> This is awesome! Oh, shit- AHH FUCK!!!!

* Now talking in #white-base

<Kai> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> lolz Sayla ur e-b00bs r hawt <%Sayla> >:O * %Sayla kicks Amuro's ass

<%Mirai> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> I pwnz da Computer! I gots da biggest e-pen0r evar!

<~LtReed> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> fuck fuckity fuck as long as Reed's not around I don't care... <Amuro> Oh, shit. I didn't see you there.

<~LtReed> j00 get ur fuckin ass out thar n start ha><0ring!

<Amuro> But sir, the Computer...

<~LtReed> What j00 n33d is R4M, boy.

*upgradez0rz*

<Amuro> Alright, I'm going in!

*hackity hack*

<Amuro> AHHHHH FUCK!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!1111111s

* Now talking in #white-base

<Kai> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> lolz Sayla ur e-b00bs r hawt <%Sayla> >:O * %Sayla kicks Amuro's ass

<%Mirai> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> I pwnz da Computer! I gots da biggest e-pen0r evar!

<~LtReed> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> fuck fuckity fuck as long as Reed's not around I don't care... <Amuro> Oh, shit. I didn't see you there.

<Hayato> ***WB***(Amuro) <Fraw> I'm getting shit speeds here. * Amuro slides his e-penis out of Fraw and zips his pants <Amuro> Try now, baby =D

<@Bright> ***WB***(Amuro) <Amuro> PISS!!! <Amuro> DICK!!! <Amuro> OR COCK!!!

<Amuro> What a piece of shit.

<Sleggar> Have you ever upgraded the BIOS?

<Amuro> Should I?

<Sleggar> It's risky. But it might solve your problem. If it doesn't your piece of shit will be wasted.

<Amuro> I don't know...

* Sleggar (asshole@fuck.me.mirai.because.I'm.an.asshole) quit (Quit: (KILLED: Big Zam))

<%Mirai> O NOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111oneoneoneoneoneeleven

<@Bright> There, there, it's alright.

<@Bright> XD

<Operator> Char's got a new piece of shit! It's the Xeong!

*hackity hack*

<Amuro> AHH FUCK! THAT'S IT! I'M UPGRADING THE BIOS!!!!!!!1111111111

*upgradez0rz*

(BOOT Failure: system halted)

*newtype shit*

Notice: Amuro: stop h4><0ring, everyone!

<Amuro> Please try to understand, Lalah. I can play with j00 anytime.

*narrator*

The war is over. The end.

<Fukuda> Just kidding, the Computer wasn't destroyed after all. <_<

(Based on a true story. PS. the BIOS update didn't fail after all, but my computer is still crashing...)